Looking Back at a Semester Abroad--Reflections

You may have guessed that I arrived safely in the states on December 23^rd and have been settling into my home life once more. As I finish unpacking my suitcases, I have also been unpacking all of the thoughts and feelings I collected over the course of this past semester. I don’t know how well I can place them before you all, but I will try to give a decent overview of my time in Korea now that I am home and looking back. Sorry if it is a bit long! Try to bear through it.

I will be honest, this journey started out rather inauspiciously. I was the awkward girl crying on the plane as it carried me closer and closer to some unknown adventure I was unprepared for. I was not sure if what I was headed toward would be worth leaving the familiarity of home for. But still, I had very high expectations for my semester. After all, I thought, I worked very hard to get to Korea. Therefore I had a lot of demands for what I wanted to get in return for my sacrifice of time and money.

As the fun of orientation passed and the realities of school life set in, I found myself increasingly discouraged and incredibly lonely. I was lost amid the torrent of new things—new people, new languages, new residence, new food, new school system, new teachers, etc. I had been overseas before but never so fully immersed in the unfamiliar. I was afraid I would be miserable the whole semester, even though there were many enjoyable times those first weeks.

I remember my first venture into the ocean right after orientation when a group of us took that long walk to the beach. I took off my shoes and stood close enough to the water that it would cover my feet. The water was cold and the waves violent as they pushed and pulled against the sand. I went in further, then a little further. Suddenly I was pulled off my feet and thrown under the water by one of the larger waves. I came up sputtering and shocked by the temperature and the roughness of the sand I was thrown against. But after a moment of recovery I could not keep myself from laughing.

Coming to Korea for me was like that wave. I was not expecting it to knock me over and pull me under, and at first it was a painful shock. But as time went on I was able to gain more stable footing. And when I was knocked down again, I had more confidence that I could come up laughing. I grew to be less lost and helpless, and I stopped demanding what I wanted from the semester and let it be what God wanted it to be for me. I slowly let go of my own expectations and let the experiences, lessons, and relationships happen more naturally.

As the weeks passed the language barriers began to seem less like fortress walls and more like beautiful little streams to cross. Dorm life seemed less like a prison and more like a family. Classes/academic life became less impossible and more challenging in the positive sense. Learning about the differences and similarities between cultures was less overwhelming and more and more exciting. I began to grasp the concept of unity in diversity—beauty in unfamiliarity.

But none of this growth happened out of my own ability. It came only through the grace that was shown to me by the people I met and the overwhelming presence of God I encountered. With the help of people much wiser than myself I learned contentment in loneliness. And after giving up my expectations for what I thought my semester abroad would be, suddenly it began exceeding even my highest hopes. For instance, I really desired my semester to be about other people, not myself, especially because as an American student I was the minority. But at first I was so lost and so confused that I felt I could not possibly help another soul. It’s difficult to aid a drowning person when your own lungs are full of water.

But I learned that maybe this is where the heart of a servant is born—when you recognize that you don’t have the answers, you are not above anyone, and actually need their help. Humility is a necessary trait in someone who helps others. How can you wash someone’s feet if you insist on standing upon a chair and raising yourself above them?

So many people, staff and students, modeled this behavior to me. I was amazed at how gracefully they accepted my presence amongst them despite how different our backgrounds were. We were all from vastly different belief systems, histories, cultures, families, and mindsets. You know, we are all made up of hundreds of stories just like a tapestry consists of hundreds of threads. And our lives, and all of the stories in our lives, are part of a much greater story.

As I discovered, it is important to let people into our stories. We should let the people around us become threads in our tapestry. We should learn from them, be open to them—not be afraid, even if it means a hard goodbye or a measure of pain. Let them challenge our preconceived notions of how the world works. It is good to be prudent, but I don’t want to limit the potential beauty of the story God is telling with my life. Relationships are part of that beauty, and were the most outstanding part of my semester. I am now honoured to have brothers and sisters from all over the world. Funny, the world is much bigger than I thought—but at the same time so much more tightly knit.

A clever man once said:

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime.” ~ Mark Twain

How true it is! There is something to be learned from every single person you meet on this earth.

As my semester began drawing to a close I wanted to drag my feet and slow time down. I feel like I found a special home at Handong. Even on the lonelier days or in the midst of school stress I was so at peace with the life I found there. I was even content with my classes and the difficult Korean education system. By the grace and kindness of my friends I developed really uplifting relationships with so many incredible people. I love each of them so much. I did not want to leave… I wanted to soak in those waves as long as I could.

Being in that kind of situation really teaches one to make the most of the given amount of time. It also taught me a lot about finding meaning where it was previously unlooked for. A paraphrase of my philosophy class is helpful at this juncture:

“It is arrogant to believe that tomorrow is everything, and that today has nothing and lacks all meaning. Today has meaning even if tomorrow does not exist. It is important to have goals because they give meaning to the future—but they also give meaning to the present moment. Work hard, but know why you are working hard. We must never be mindless, but always be mindful.”

I learned that grasping the meaning and purpose God has for any given season of life helps prevent abusing the gifts He gives us. Gifts of time, relationships, opportunities, etc. I had to be careful not to try and assign my own meaning to my time, because when I did, I suddenly felt dead in the water again. God is the author of meaning and He is the root of all meaning and purpose. At least, this is what I have found personally true.

Being a foreigner in a culture very different from your own also teaches you respect. Even if you don’t like aspects of that culture, when you have to live with it you learn to find the goodness and the value therein. I loved a lot about Korea—the food, the landscape, the history, the focus on community instead of the individual… But then I didn’t like other aspects such as the age hierarchy or how sometimes there was little privacy. It was very good to learn how to live within that new framework, and I hope to learn more someday. There is still so much to Korea that I have yet to learn.

Summing up the life lessons I learned in the span of even those four short months is a difficult business. I could tell so many stories and ramble on for pages and pages. But I won’t, for your sake as well as my own. If you find me in person or online, feel free to dig in deeper if you so desire.

Everything I learned, I learned with the help of other people—no matter what the nature of that knowledge was. Every single person I met taught me something whether it was cultural, practical, spiritual, or otherwise.

My roommates, among many other things, taught me better how to live in community. My professors taught me not only academics, but how to connect classroom learning with real life. My church family taught me about grace and servitude. And all my beautiful friends taught me more about who Christ is with their actions, their words, and their generosity. They taught me how to love and how to be loved, especially in regard to our Creator.

I learned other things as well. Like existing for a semester on instant or canned coffee, although not preferable, is still possible. Or, that one should never take for granted the simple blessing it is to be able to do laundry for free when you live with your parents. Also, you would be amazed at how much hair can be found in a room shared by four girls! And actually, corn and potato as pizza toppings are pretty good. Living without a cell phone is quite doable, Koreans are very conscientious about brushing their teeth, and there are almost no trash cans in their country. Many things could be added to this list.

~~~

Now that I am home I really miss Handong. I learned a lot as a student, but this semester really was a very special time for me to grow and change as a person. I sincerely hope that I can take what I learned and apply it to my life in America and that those lessons I learned will only expand. I also hope to one day make it back to Korea and to be able to visit all of my friends in their home countries across the globe. After learning about these cultures all semester I really want to experience them all face to face!

I have been so blessed to get to study abroad. Even though saying goodbye was difficult, I wouldn’t trade a single experience I had for anything, even the painful moments. I would encourage anyone I know to travel as much as possible, and to make the most of every moment. As our walls and expectations are torn down and we are connected to more and more people, life grows more and more beautiful I think. Not all lessons can be learned in a classroom—sometimes you just have to take the risk and step out onto the open road and let it take you where God wills it.

I cannot promise that next time I go somewhere and do something new I won’t be overwhelmed again. I still have a lot to learn, after all. But I do hope that next time when the ocean knocks me off my feet, I can remember what it feels like to come up laughing.

Thank you all for keeping up with my blog! I wish I could give a more detailed, rich account of my adventures abroad—but it would simply take too long, and my Spring school semester is about to start up which leaves me lacking time.

I pray God blesses you all with your own adventures and your own opportunities to travel and grow. Godspeed!

~ Mercy

멀ㅅ시

“And so my prayer is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you… about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves… We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you:

Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.” ~ Through Painted Desserts, by Don Miller